Hi there! If you clicked on this article, then chances are you’re looking for new ways to make your sex life more interesting and exciting.
Being an active sexual partner isn’t just about moving around a lot or overexerting yourself, of course, but there are ways for you to communicate to your partner, either verbally or nonverbally, that you want to make them happy while also fulfilling your own needs.
Before we talk about how to be more active in bed as a woman, let’s take a moment to check up on the idea.
Being active in bed is pretty subjective, and only you can decide whether or not it applies to you and your sexual style.
For a moment, let’s forget about what your partner(s) have said on the subject. Do YOU think you’re not very active in bed? Do you find yourself doing as little as possible? Would YOU like to change how you interact with your partner when you hop in bed together?
The point here is that you shouldn’t feel forced to change your sexual style if you’re happy with it. This needs to be your decision, and if your heart isn’t in it, then the results probably won’t be what you were hoping for in the first place.
Cool, with that said, let’s move on to some solid tips for being more active in bed with your partner.
Climb on top
No matter the gender of your partner, taking the initiative with your sexual experiences is a great way to be more active.
One of the simplest examples of this is to try out positions that put you in control. Sure, some of these do indeed involve being on top of your partner (the cowgirl positions are very well-known samples of this), but there are also ways that you can take control of a sexual encounter without physically being on top.
In just about position, you can dictate the speed and intensity of what’s happening, all without saying anything. Just pick a speed and stick with it. Or, if you’re feeling like it, increase the intensity over time to create a more memorable sexual experience.
Not every partner will want you to take control every single time, but if you’ve noticed them losing a bit of interest lately, this can be a really good way to change things up.
Look up some more positions
Looking up new and exciting sexual positions is always a fantastic way to introduce some new fun and enthusiasm to your in-bed activities.
No, you don’t need to thrust your way through the entirety of the Kama Sutra, and you don’t need to suddenly become a sexual acrobat, either.
But you might be surprised by just how many fun positions are out there that don’t require a huge amount of effort or flexibility.
Each new position will give you brand new ways to please your partner and show how much you want to make the both of you feel great.
You can even search for positions based on how much control you can take. Many of these positions also place a focus on giving you a great deal of pleasure.
You can also find positions catered to the dynamic between you and your partner, based on gender, body type, etc.
Having more options when you’re deciding what to do next is never a bad thing.
As we’ve already alluded to, being active in bed as a woman doesn’t just mean moving around a lot during sex.
It’s also very much about the perception of how involved and interested you are in the encounter.
With that said, there are many other ways to excite your partner and communicate your interest nonverbally.
Let’s look at a few other ways you can please without making sex a spring to the finish.
Oral sex
Giving oral sex or performing mutual oral sex (otherwise known as 69) has always been a great way to be more active during a sexual experience.
Now, we have to give a quick disclaimer here. You should never feel pressured to give your partner oral sex. In fact, you should never feel pressured to do anything in bed that you don’t want to.
So we’re not saying that every woman out there should give more oral sex to make their partner happy. That’s just not the case.
But if you don’t mind giving oral sex or if you actually enjoy it a whole lot, then your partner will probably never be upset to see that you’re ready to pleasure them in this way.
What’s special about oral sex is that it gives you the chance to focus in on your partner and take note of all the small things that make them happy.
If you’ve talked about it in advance, this could even be a good time to experiment with some different things that might give your partner even more pleasure.
Oh, and by the way, if you want to make oral sex in your relationship a one-for-you, one-for-me kind of thing, go for it! That way, your partner will also get to try some new things that will make your eyes roll back.
Sex toys
If you’ve read some of our other articles, then you probably knew this one was coming.
Sex toys aren’t just great for using by yourself; they can also come in handy when you’re looking to add another ingredient to the mix.
Here’s another thing we need to discount right away: using sex toys with your partner does not mean that you’re sexually inadequate in any way.
In fact, there are lots of people out there who can only reach orgasm by using a sex toy.
No matter who you are, as long as you and your partner are comfortable with the idea, sex toys can make your sexual encounters way more interesting, and, well, let’s say titillating.
Even picking out different sex toys you’d like to try can be a fun activity for you and your partner.
Set a budget and take a look around for toys that strike your fancy. You might even be able to get some free bonus gifts with your order.
When you bring your toys back home or receive an order through the mail, you’ll get to have a unique and exciting sexual experience, all thanks to a colorful little toy, with or without batteries.
Mutual masturbation
Mutual masturbation is just another great way for you to show your interest in your partner and prove to them how much they turn you on.
It can be a bit intimidating at first, putting yourself and all your lady bits out on display, but it’s bound to get your partner excited and make the experience a lot more energetic.
You can use a toy or just your hands. Either way, your partner will love seeing the pleasure in your face.
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